Note From An Average Devil

Ever wondered what a demon, cast out of heaven through Lucifer's revolt, would think about humans, God and such...

Note From An Average Devil

The world is so well-ordered and colorful it makes me gag. I prefer the night, where everything seems more black and gray. The world is my prison, it doesn't mean I have to like it. On the plus side there are very few limits on what I can do in my prison, at least for the next thousand years or so.

Humans are stupid and they also make the best targets because they are reactionary. Unlike animals, which don't dwell too much on the ephemeral, humans will wax philosophical and entire cultures will rise up at the merest spiritual intervention or the just the belief there was one. Humans have no end to their imaginations and they are so easily played with.

There's a devil that dwells in the Indian subcontinent who finds delight in getting humans to create new religions out of whole cloth. It's that devils specialty and he finds great amusement in the results, I do admit it is funny sometimes. I mean, really, worship a cow? I still have a hard time believing that one, it's like making a vegetarian swear off grass.

We devils are everywhere. Though the ones like me are not “The Devil”, we are teammates. We tempt people into sin and their souls are tasty snacks, every little bite makes us happier in what we do. Not that we are actually “happy”. We like corrupting others to become like us because we know we live in hell and we want to spread the misery. Corrupt humans do the same thing, I see it all the time.

Sure not everyone will fall. Not every boy becomes corrupt with the first look at pornography, not every girl sells her soul to buy a purse, not everyone who drinks becomes a raging alcoholic but these are all tools for us. Some of those boys will start to see girls as nothing more than sexual beings, some of those girls will start thinking its fine and harmless to become sluts, some of those alcoholics will move on to harder drugs while dragging their children and others down into their personal hell with them.

It's a long-term strategy. Once a society begins to accept a certain amount of sin, the hardest part, then it is pretty much a downhill slope. Once in a while God himself has to intervene as he did back in Sodom, Gomorrah and some other places. Sure he might let a Roman emperor be stark raving mad and abuse people, but an entire society cannot function like that.

Which is the whole point. That is our goal. Humans are animals, we dare to challenge the idea that they should ever have become something else. This idea of a thinking, self-controlling animal was ludicrous from the beginning. God wanted to create beings for the purpose of worshiping him. It was rebellion to this narcissism that got Lucifer and the rest of us thrown out of heaven.

Some of my kind specialize in creating new religions among the humans, the dumber the better, as way of kicking God in the shins. Even his precious Christianity has been corrupted through the centuries by us devils. Once the idea of praying to “Saints” was inputed, it was over in the long run. Such an obvious violating their own scripture proves to us how stupid humans are.

The somewhere between the first and second Councils of Nicea the devils had turned Mary into a goddess. That was fast work, I was truly impressed by that one. Somewhere down the line this morphed into Mary being born sinless and without sex being involved. So Mary's parents were holy too. We devils still laugh about this when we get together, the knots humans reason themselves in to justify their corruption is truly amusing.

Cows. Humans are like cows.

Me? I'm not a specialist. The only time I ever influenced a religion being created was when I was hanging around L. Ron Hubbard. That was one of those “whole cloth” things and it's still my proudest accomplishment. Sure I had a small role in the Mormon thing but that wasn't my gig, I was just helping out.

I'm a freelancer. Attract a girl to the lights and glamor of Vegas and I can have her an unhappy, alcoholic, soulless stripper in a couple of years. I know some devils who do nothing else but that, they never leave southern Nevada apparently.

Another way to corrupt people in groups is to demoralize them. Humans get these dumb ideas that preachers and Priests are somehow supposed to be without sin (impossible), so of course we take them down when we get the chance. I don't really get how hard some people find it to separate the message from the messenger, nobody says the messenger is clean. (read the Old Testament, too)

If your tuning in to those idiot preachers on TV, I can tell you for a fact you're corrupting yourself. Not that you should take my word for it. Once you put a human on a pedestal you are just setting yourself for disappointment. Being disappointed in your faith leads to corruption and sin. Since humans often put the “leader” on pedestals we aim at them all the time.

You know, this stuff would never work if humans were basically good. They aren't. Humans are born sinful and anyone who says otherwise is probably working for us. If humans were basically good then they wouldn't need to be “saved” would they? If humans were basically good then why is being a good person hard work while being bad is so easy and fun? (for a while any way)

If humans dropped their pretensions of being born innocent or being basically good and started taking their religion seriously instead of using them as social clubs, it would make our job much harder right off the bat. I can tell you this because I know my warning won't be heeded.

Because humans are cows.

God is the big boy, he is the boss, the one with all the real power. Just this once though, he is wrong, time after time century after century proves this. In our opinion, I guess, humans are a big waste of time and energy. Once it becomes plain to God that this little experiment is never going to work, he will relent and admit we were right.

We already know what will happen, right? God will take the few humans that are worthy of being brought to the next level and the rest will go away. Surely, this means Luce and the rest of us will have our imprisonment lifted. Isn't that obvious? Our positions should be restored, although we know God denies this right now.

Humans are animals, depraved to the extreme under the right circumstances. When you hear about elementary school teachers letting children have sex in class or a celebrity orgy with minors, just remember. Humans are animals and we devils are proved right every single time you sin!

See you in hell!



Signed,
                 An Average Devil

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New Arrivals, my sci-fi novel is now 99 cents for this weekend!