Incarceration
The cell was solid except for the air
vents, which were about four inches across and I was definitely
larger than that. I could see nor hear anything from outside the
cell, I hadn't see another human face for the two years I've been
here. When they delivered food through the door slot, even if I was
waiting for them to a chance to look out they were wearing helmets
with darkened face-plates.
I still did not know why I was there.
Or where “there” was. You would think there would be a trial of
some kind before being locked up like this. You would think you would
at least be aware of the charges against you, but I have had none of
that. You can forget the “right” to a lawyer, there was no one
even to complain to. The isolation was total.
I lay on the bunk and close my eyes and
all I can hear is a steady but distant hum. Some sort of engine or
air conditioning maybe. Air conditioning that never stops suggests it
is really hot outside, although I have never felt warm in the cell.
After the first couple of months I
threw a tantrum demanding something to do with my time besides taking
showers, sleeping and, er, other things one can do alone and naked.
Right after the next lunch was delivered I heard something dropped
into the slot. Curious, I opened it and there was a book.
Great.
“War of the Worlds”, a classic, if
a bit dated now that we have colonies on the moon and Mars but it was
something to do. I dropped it back into the slot just before
breakfast and another book was delivered with lunch.
“The Martian Chronicles”, another
classic. Day after day there were more books to read but I noticed
there seemed to be a pattern. “A Princess of Mars”, “Sands of
Mars” and so on. Nearly all of the books were fictional novels
about Mars as imagined by authors. I didn't know if there was a
reason for this.
Were my jailers suggesting I was on
Mars? Because the gravity seemed normal enough, but that could be
done artificially. As a matter of fact this prison could be on an
orbital space station around any planet. Maybe it was orbiting Venus?
Seriously, would it kill them to let me
know why I was there? Had something happened, had there been a coup
or something? Even the old totalitarian states had show trials before
the sentence was carried out, but sometimes after an execution I
would have to concede.
Every week I am ordered to place my arm
into a machine that apparently cleans up my blood. They never tell me
what this is about either. Maybe I'm aboard a space station and this
is needed to keep me from being poisoned by radiation? All I know the
first time I put my arm inside it and it locked, I was shocked, then
there was a pain and I had to stand there for twenty minutes while it
did its thing.
Now there is a scar on my upper arm
where all of this is done. The scar looks like a nipple, I'm not
kidding. Maybe they want me to think I would die without it should I
escape, although I have never been able to leave the cell. I'm not
even sure the cell door could be opened. I had never seen it open
come to think of it. Even now, after two years.
All I know is that I tried to rebel
once. I refused to place my arm into the machine and a voice came to
tell me they would turn off my air if I didn't comply. I scoffed,
just before the air vents snapped shut and the sound of a pump could
be heard. I became short of breath very quickly. I was alarmed enough
to shove my arm into that machine, I can tell you that. Threat of
asphyxiation is very scary.
One night I had a bad dream. I dreamed
that I was actually on death row and my time for execution was coming
up quickly. I woke up with a fever and I was sweating profusely, sick
as “a dog” as they say. I passed out for a while, maybe days.
When I woke up I felt fine but there
were scars on my abdomen, apparently they had taken out my appendix.
My throat was sore, had they also taken out the tonsils? I also
noticed there had been dental work. I was less upset by this than
pleased at the “free” health-care. I was also perplexed that they
would do this for a man imprisoned. Okay, I was definitely not going
to be executed after that, was I?
No, I wasn't executed, obviously. How
could I tell this story otherwise?
Two years of this. I was close to being
out of my mind. Nothing about this was making any sense, it just
doesn't jive with the worlds I knew before I woke up here. Nothing
could possibly explain this, of course I had no memory of being
brought to wherever this is either. I wanted to go home to my little
apartment and my little job at the shop, if it were still there.
I was literally going to lose my mind.
I remember kicking and punching the “door”, I remember trying to
urinate into the slot. Screaming all day until I was hoarse. The next
day I sat on the cot and cried all day. I refused food for days and
days and I got delirious.
When I opened my eyes I saw blurry
images of people hovering over me. They seemed like doctors with blue
masks over their faces. I could hear the beeping of machines.
“How much did he ingest?” a voice
of a man asked
“Just a drop was released into the
air where he was” a woman answered
“Just enough was absorbed to make it
dangerous. I hope the courier was arrested for negligence” the man
said “But I doubt it”
“I think he might be coming around”
the woman said, sounding tired “Hopefully for good this time”
“Hey, Matthew” the man said “Can
you hear me? Just listen, in case it happens again, it's not real,
none of it is.....”
I blacked out again. I was still in the
cell when I woke up from that strange dream. Still in the cell, all I
could do is cry again. Please make it go away. Please. If anyone is
out there, help me.
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