Executive Mansion
It was a tour of a lifetime. I got to
visit the Executive Mansion in all of its magnificent splendor!
Getting through the tall iron gate was surprisingly easy in an era of
massive concrete barricades and sniper towers. Getting inside the
main entrance was not so easy; I won't need a prostate exam any time
soon. At least they provided us water bottles with the national seal
on them.
All the discomfort was forgotten when I
saw the historical architecture and the artwork adorning its walls.
The whole tour group stood in awe looking at the paintings, like
George Washington crossing the Delaware, the ships of Christopher
Columbus on the sea, a Revolutionary War naval engagement made be
catch my breath.
I got to looking around and lost my
tour group. I was afraid of being kicked out, I'm sure its against
the rules not to be with the group. I just walked around like I
belonged there as I discreetly searched for my group. The Secret
Service agents with their mirrored sunglasses must certainly have
been watching me closely, it was only a matter of time until I would
be escorted off these auspicious grounds.
Suddenly I was surrounded by people in
suits and others and pushed against my desire into an adjoining room.
Everyone lined up single file, I turned to leave but the door was
slammed shut by guards with sub-machine guns slung over their
shoulders. Everyone looked very serious and I had a bad feeling.
Then the door on the other side opened
up and he entered. I was more than a bit surprised to see him person.
The most powerful man in the world, leader of the formerly free world
was standing in the room with me. I was out of place and scared but I
could appreciate the chance of being part of history.
Except I couldn't stand still. I was
sweating in the cool room, I was getting nervous and glancing around
like a shifty person. The secret service agents and others kept
looking in my direction, I must have looked like someone who couldn't
be trusted.
I really had to take a leak!
“You okay, kid?” an older man in a
suit and tie next to me asked in a whisper.
I had to get out of there. I did not
belong there. I had to leave before I pissed my pants in public and
in front of the leader of my country.
“I want to just get down to business”
he said after getting in front of the oddly-placed podium, a small
TelePrompTer on the rostrum fed his prepared words directly into his
eyes. “What we have seen this week with the organized
demonstrations across this country are an ugly thing. They make this
country look bad to the rest of the world, as if we can't discuss and
decide things through the process. The process is necessary, if we do
not follow the process, can we really say we are free?”
Everyone else seemed to nod, but I
didn't know what they agreed with in that pile of dung.
“Let me be clear. If you have a gripe
tell it to your boss, discuss it at the neighborhood circle, militia
leader or even write a letter to your representative. If your
concerns are valid you won't be detained for thoughts against the
state” he said, which everyone knew was a lie.
I was sure I was going to be killed.
Would they drag me outside first? I would leave a trail of yellow
liquid the whole way. A small wry grin was on my face at the thought
before I realized it and frowned like most do.
“I also want to acknowledge that it
has become necessary to raise the work quotas in this country” he
put a hand up, palm out “Times are tough, it is not something I
want to do. It will be necessary for everyone to collect more tin,
rubber and aluminum for recycling, as well as -before this fiscal
year ends, for every adult to bring 500 New Currency units to their
National Work Site. The country needs you! Work harder! Sacrifice!
Keep an eye on your friends, neighbors and family to make sure they
comply without complaint!”
I turned in a circle, the guards were
still there with their guns in their hands blocking the door. I just
could not hold it in any more.
“Piss!” I screamed, the official
press representatives gasped, some ducked for cover. “I have to
pee! Now! Open the door! Let me go!”
The Emperor pointed “Detain that
man!”
The guards rushed forward and grabbed
me by the underarms, but I could just reach my fly and relieve myself
all over the Persian rug and mahogany table. As they pulled me out of
the room I tried my hardest to hit the Emperor but it wouldn't reach.
I didn't care I was smiling and laughing all the way to the portico
were I was sure to be executed. It would never be reported anywhere
of course.
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New Arrivals is an ebook I wrote and is for sale.
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