The Brutal Arena
by Floyd Looney
The flood-gates
opened and two dozen men in suits and ties entered the arena, tens of
thousands in the crowd chanting for blood. Weapons were thrown down
at random places into the sand and the men ran for them, desperately
trying not be the ones killed by the others.
Chainsaws, swords,
spears and maces were being swung and thrown by untrained hands. The
crowd laughs when one of the men cuts his own leg with the chainsaw.
The others pounce to finish him off before backing off before they
become the next target.
There can only be
one. All of these men were desperate enough to enter the contest, not
all of them were confident and this was a weakness. Three of the men
traded looks and nods and then took off, surrounded the oldest one
before slashing and stabbing him to death.
“Leadership and
cooperation on display there!” the announcer told the crowd that
wasn't listening, too much orgasmic hot blood was pounding in their
ears. Finally there were just two left alive in the arena, facing
each other, their chests heaving for air, blood all over them but
little of it was their own. One did have a limp from spraining an
ankle during combat though.
“.... and now we
reach the run-off!” the announcer said. The man with the injured
leg knew what this meant, it meant he had no hope of winning this
contest. A gate on one end of the arena opened up and several angry
elephants entered, running, their tusks had been sharpened for this
event.
“Run!” the
injured man said “Save yourself, you are the only hope left!”
The other man balked
for a moment, but he knew the other was correct. So he turned, threw
down the spear he was holding and ran for all he was worth. The
elephants didn't even slow down for the injured man, squashing him
like a bug in the process. The gate on the other end of the arena
opened and the elephants all entered instead of being locked in with
the final man.
The lights came on,
music blared. It was “Hail to the Chief!”
“Congratulations
on winning the Presidency, Mr. Smith!” the announcer said “Mr.
Jonathon Smith, the next President of the United States! Give him a
big round of applause”
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